My Pokemon Ranch Review

See those Pikachus? They're running away from this God-awful excuse for a game- if it even deserves to be called that.

Where do I begin? Well, it's only gonna go downhill from here, so we might as well start with the graphics, possibly the only enjoyable thing about this game. The Pokemon have been given a cute Chibi look that is actually pretty cool. The Miis are able to blend in with this graphical style. And... that's everything good I have to say about this piece of shovelware. Be prepared for some hate.

Next is the sound. They could've at least made an effort to put in some good music to play while you interact with your pokemon, but no, they put in horrible elevator music that will get on your nerves so much you'll probably have to mute it. To add insult to injury, they didn't even update the pokemon cries to fit with the Wii, they just borrowed from the DS games. Gritty, fuzzy, pokemon cries may not sound so bad on the DS, but they don't sound at all good on the Wii.

Now the gameplay, or complete lack thereof. Everyday, you come back to your Ranch to find a new Pokemon, which the ranch manager lady will give you a preview of the day before. You'll also get some new toys to watch your Pokemon play with, but that still brings little entertainment. Each day someone invites you to visit their ranch, which is themed in some way. One ranch you encounter is one full of pikachus and pichus. This still gives you as much entertainment as visiting your own ranch, so there's basically none to be had. You can also take screenshots of your Pokemon in action, but its not like you'll be rushing to your Wii everyday to look at them or send one to someone else. I hope not, at least.

The game costs 1000 Wii points, or, to put it simply, 10 bucks. There's nothing to justify that high price. The only motivation you have is to fill up your ranch with 999 pokemon, which you'll wonder how the heck is possible, in order to get Mew. But unless you commit yourself to getting pokemon into your ranch as much as possible, its pretty much pointless.

CONCLUSION:
This so-called "game" is an absolute abomination. The cutesy-styled Pokemon and the promise of a Mew with 999 pokemon are nowhere near enough to justify this game's ripoff price of 10 bucks. There is nothing that could possibly warrant a purchase of My Pokemon Ranch unless you are absolutely desperate for some Pokemon action on the Wii. But even then, there's Pokemon Rumble for the Wii (which, judging from the demo, seems pretty darn good) which has REAL gameplay and you get bang for your buck. I think I said in my Kirby's Adventure video review that I would buy Kirby's Adventure for 2000 points, if not more. However, I wouldn't think of giving up a fraction of 1 point for this piece of crap. Stay away from My Pokemon Ranch.

SCORE: 1/10

Kirby's Adventure Review

One of the NES’s last games- was it also one of its best?

Kirby’s Adventure is the 2nd installment in the Kirby franchise. It was released in 1993, near the end of the NES’s life cycle. This actually was good for the game, as NES developers had unlocked the full potential of the NES and pushed it to the limit. What good did this do for the game? Read on to find out.

Because it was released so late, Kirby’s Adventure was one of the best-looking games on the system. Its colors were vibrant, the backgrounds looked nice, and the sprites looked and animated very well. There’s occasional flicker and slowdown when there’s lots of enemies onscreen or you’re attacking a bunch of enemies, but this is to be expected from any NES game. Plain and simple, this game looks effin’ great.

The presentation is good. The menu looks nice and you can quickly choose a file, go to the minigames, etc. It even has your rank shown depending on how much of the game you have completed! In game, if you’re new to the ability, the pause menu tells you all about it. You don’t need a big extravagant menu when you have a game like Kirby.


Sound wise, this is one of the best soundtracks of the 8 Bit era. The music is always fun and light-hearted, and you won’t get tired of them. It includes some very catchy and memorable songs, and you may even find yourself (like me) downloading them on your computer! That’s just how superb the soundtrack is. Like the graphics, the music is a strong point of the game.


Of course, the gameplay is always the most important thing, and HAL Lab didn’t forget it. For those of you who don’t know, (and I doubt there are many- if any- of you) Kirby sucks. Literally. He inhales his enemies and can swallow them or spit them back out. Some enemies give you squat, but still fill up Kirby’s hungry belly, while others actually give you special abilities. You can burst through the air with Fireball, cool your enemies with Ice, and even squash ‘em with stone. All of them are fun and several of them are useful for many situations. Except Sleep. Sleep sucks figuratively. You can also float, usually when you need to get to a higher platform. When you’ve beaten the game, you can go back and hit all the secret switches. What happens when you get 100%? You’ll just have to play to find out. The game is somewhat short, (maybe 3-4 hours for a first timer) but that’s what gives it its high replay value. Overall, you won’t get tired of the gameplay, just like the graphics and sound.


CONCLUSION:
Kirby’s Adventure is a great example of what is possible with a system when it is pushed to the limits. The graphics and sound are unlike anything on the NES, and the very small things that are wrong are far too little to alter your experience. It is one of the most unique and enjoyable games on the NES, and it’s only $5!!!
So, gamers, if you are a platformer fan, are new to Kirby, or just haven’t played this game, and you have a Wii, internet, and 500 Wii points, buy this game now and praise Nintendo for letting you experience it on the Virtual Console.

SCORE: 10/10